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Our Miscarriage Story

So let me start out by saying I was never ever planning on sharing this let alone writing a blog about it. It is incredibly personal to Andrew and I. Honestly the thought randomly hit me today and I just ran with it like most things. I want to talk about my miscarriage for a couple different reasons. For one being, writing is SO therapeutic for me especially when there is so much emotion involved. It especially was so good for me when I wrote my adoption story of how I came to place Noah for adoption 4 and a half years ago. The second reason is miscarriages are unfortunately so common. When I was going through mine I searched and googled for blogs, articles, and experiences to relate to. I still do. I want someone out there reading this to know you are not alone.  Lets just say this pregnancy was oh so planned. Like if anything could be planned. It was this pregnancy. Before I even got pregnant I would spend hours just googling babies. Thats right. I was wanting one so bad that...
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Perspective On Happiness

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This quote has stuck out to me for some time and I thought I would share it. I feel like so many of us, myself included, get so happy and thrilled over big events that occur in our lives. But what about the little things? If we found happiness and appreciate the little day by day details more often then I truly feel we will find ourselves a lot more joyful and happy. Starting today, I have decided I am going to take a part of my day and just stop, breathe, and take a look around at the beauty of the simple little details my life has to offer. 
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One Year

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Yesterday marked one year since the birth of Noah. As I reflect on this past year, I can't help but to feel so lucky & so grateful.  These are a few things I am grateful for: 1. The atonement. I can't begin to express how much I love the atonement. I was able to have a fresh new start & for that I am so grateful we can be completely forgiven and renew ourselves and come out stronger than ever before.  2. It's hard to put into words just the amount of love I have for Noah & how grateful I am that he came to me at a time I needed him. I truly believe his first mission in life was to be born through me and save me. I am grateful we will always be a part of eachothers lives. 3. The Danielsons. This is another love I can't quite put to justice. It's a bond I've never quite had before. It's just so trusting and filled with so much love for eachother and for Noah. I couldn't be more pleased with my decision to choose them & they...
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Eleven

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11 months. Can you believe it? As I reflect on this past year I can't help but get a little teary eyed. I am just so eternally grateful Heavenly Father put so much trust in me at a time I didn't feel any worth. Noah was the answer to so many of our prayers! I just can't believe how much little Noah has grown up. He is growing up to be such a handsome little man and he is the light to all of our lives. I am so grateful to call myself his birth mom and be a part of his and his families lives. I love them all so much. Happy almost one year my little love.
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4th Of July

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Last weekend for the Fourth of July my friend invited me to go to New Mexico for the weekend with him. He grew up in New Mexico and that's where his family all lives. His mom was getting married that weekend and so since I've never been to New Mexico, had nothing else to do, and I'm always up for adventures I agreed to go and accompany him. I'm so glad I did because we seriously had a blast! We left Thursday and came back Sunday night.   My friends dog had a girlfriend he got pregnant in New Mexico so we went to visit the one day old boston terriers. SO CUTE. I just about died and it was so hard leaving them without stealing one. (Totally kidding)! Daniels little sister and I hit it off right off the bat. She was so cute and fun! Here's her hippy design she made for me. Ha!   We went to the white sands national park with some friends we were staying with and it was the most amazing place. Miles and miles of the whitest ...
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10

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Ten months, really? It honestly freaks me out that he's almost going to be a year. I'm mostly freaking out that I don't know how I'm going to handle that year mark. If every month on the 6th gets me emotional and brings a lot of emotions out of me I don't know what the year mark is going to do to me. But it makes me so happy he is growing up happy and healthy. There isn't any words that can quite give my love for this boy any justice but I will say time and time again he is the best thing to ever happen to me and I love him with all of my whole heart. I love how happy he is with his family and I love how his face can brighten the saddest of my days. His bright and smiling face just lifts my spirits and makes me the happiest girl ever. I'm sure anyone who sees him can agree with me on that. Happy 10 months baby boy. I love you Noah. Always & forever.
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Adoption Love

A couple months ago I contacted a girl I knew was single and pregnant and asked her all about how she was feeling and said if she ever needed to talk I was there. My heart just goes out to anyone I know who is going through an unplanned pregnancy because I know exactly how scary and alone it all feels. She came over one day and we just talked and talked and really hit it off right away. When I asked her what her decision would be she just didn't even want to think about it. I told her I would support her no matter what she chooses for her baby and it needs to 100% be up to her. I think it is so important for that decision to be only up to the birthmom what she chooses would be best for her child. During our visit we talked a lot about my adoption process and my adoption story. I told her how I met the Danielsons and how I knew in my heart they were the ones. Yesterday she told me she decided on adoption and she chose this amazing family. She sent me the adopted mothers blog about h...
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