LIFE

Life is really interesting. It's filled with so many ups and down, highs and lows, happy and sad moments. One moment I feel strong and confident that I can get through this, this is just another trial that I can face, and one I will eventually get through. But the next moment I just think to myself, "I am not as strong as I thought. How am I supposed to go on when I feel like I am missing a limb." I look at other birth moms and I sometimes just feel they are so much stronger than me. A birth mom told me something the other day that really stuck out to me. She told me our babies chose to come to this life, and knew what they were to be getting themselves into. Noah chose me to bring him to this world and trusted me to find his family. It instantly brought tears to my eyes. Sometimes I feel like this unimportant machine that was just used to carry and deliver him and place him with his family. But the fact that he chose me and trusted me helps me feel more important. I may have been his gateway for him to come to earth and be with his family, but he means more to me than anyone can possibly know. I just think the world of him and my love for him is just beyond. I went to the temple the other day and had the chance to tour inside. It was so, so beautiful. I thought alot about Noah and my future husband. I thought about Noah being sealed to his family and me being sealed to my husband. I cannot wait for that moment. The temple is such a peaceful, sacred, and beautiful place. My mind feels so at peace and clear when I am inside.