8 Months

The other day I was driving home from work and I was thinking about what I was going to talk about on my blog today. I planned to add that I have been doing so good and I don't feel "sad" anymore, but SO much happiness because after all it was all for him and he has everything I could have ever wanted for him. And then last night hit me. I was just laying in my bed, not able to sleep, and just staring at the clock watching it go from 1:15 am all the way to 1:34 am which was the time he was born. My mind was on automatic replaying every detail of Noahs birth and delivery, and at 1:34 am I think to myself "He's here!!!" And then I look around my empty room and look down at my empty arms. And then I was just overcome by so much emotion and sadness. I know, so dramatic right? Lately I've been thinking, "I shouldn't get sad, that's so selfish if I get sad. Its only thinking about ME." But today I realize it is OKAY to be sad sometimes.  I've learned that when dealing with such raw, real, and strong emotion for anyone no matter what they're going through you never know what might trigger something. And that is okay. It is okay because I don't let those sad moments consume me. Those sad moments are always over- powered with SO much undeniable happiness, because HE is happy and has such an amazing family. And that is all that matters to me. Nothing else. He is the BEST thing that has ever happened to me and I love him with every ounce of my heart. Happy 8 months baby boy.

Comments

  1. LisaMay 9, 2014 at 1:54 AM

    Beautifully written, Aubrey. You have come so far and I'm so very proud and happy for you.

    ReplyDelete

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